Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My Something Different

Remember how I stated a few entries ago that I was planning on starting something new over here? Well, today is the first entry! Yay! *happy dance*

At first I was hemming & hawing on if I was actually going to do it, but as I was going thru some of my books the other day I thought "I should do that." So, here we go!

The first book I'm going to discuss is one of my all-time favorite books. I remember the first time I read it and I kept thinking "This book is completely amazing!" And, it doesn't hurt that it's by one of my all-time favorite authors.

I reviewed this book not all that long ago. Let it go with the grade I'd given it and thought I had moved on. Ha! The book Blue-Eyed Devil by Lisa Kleypas is one of those books that really sticks with a person. I've seen mostly rave reviews about this book. I think 99% of the reason why this book resonates so much with people is because so many people have suffered from abuse in one way or another.

I've never been abused by a loved one, but I suffered from severe emotional abuse as a kid from my peers. Every day I would get up to go to school and would feel sick to my stomach. I dreaded each day and it got to the point where I would try to fabricate something so I could stay home, since home was the only place where I felt safe.

I won't go into all of the details, but suffice it to say, I can understand why kids break and do things that they can never take back. Any time I hear about a child who has snapped and done something bad to get back at the kids who tormented them... It got so bad at one point that I seriously contemplated suicide and if you knew what type of religious background I came from, well, that's plenty serious. My parents were wonderful though and got me out of the situation. I dropped out, got my GED and became an adult.

Reading Blue-Eyed Devil was one of those surreal moments in my life where I found myself seriously relating to a character I was reading about. Haven has so many qualities that I had when I was a teen. In some ways, kind of a doormat personality (at the beginning anyway). It was such a thrill to see her grow, not only as a person, but as a woman.

I've never felt comfortable delving into the things that happened to me when I was in school. I'll hint and tell of the basics, but it is hard for me to articulate just what that constant barrage of abuse did to me, emotionally and spiritually. By the time I dropped out, I was literally a shell of a person. I could barely function and honestly it's only by the grace of God that I survived to become the woman I am today.

And this is why this book is so important to me. It shows a woman who is able to get away from an abusive relationship, pick herself up by the boot strings and become a strong, wonderful person. It's not often a book resonates like this, but in this case, I'm glad it did.


So, this is the first book in my new Something Special entries. Each book that I discuss will be about how it resonated with me and why it's so important. If you'd like to share your thoughts and feelings about Blue-Eyed Devil, I would really like to hear your thoughts. Or if you suffered from any type of abuse, how did you find the strength to move on?


Carolyn Jean said...

Oh, what a moving entry! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. No kid should. Other kids and people can be so cruel, and good for you for pulling out of it and telling your story.

This sounds like such an amazing book!!!!

Christine said...

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I know you've read my post on how deeply this book also resonates with me, and as sad as I am that you and I--and countless others--have suffered serious abuse, it is a wonderful comfort to know we are not alone and most importantly, that we survived. I applaud you and your family for doing what it took to keep you safe and put you on a road to a better place. I hope that in more recent years, you've done more than survived--you deserve to thrive!!! I wish you nothing but the best!

Marg said...

This book resonated with me to a degree, but I finished one this week which just felt as though the author had taken events from my life, given them a twist and then put them on the page.

orannia said...

I'm so sorry you went through all of that :(

In your post you made a comment about how you felt when you left school:

...the constant barrage of abuse did to me, emotionally and spiritually. By the time I dropped out, I was literally a shell of a person. I could barely function and honestly it's only by the grace of God that I survived to become the woman I am today.

I just loved Blue-Eyed Devil. I've never had a book speak to me as clearly as that one did. Never had a book explain how I feel (I am so incredibly bad at articulating my emotions) so succinctly. I just hope that I have the strength that Haven did, that you did, that Christine did to come out the other side...because a barely functioning shell is, unfortunately, a very apt description.